This week, Kit’s thinking positive, and wanting to make some changes. A positivity workshop seems like a great idea, but will it lead to unexpected consequences?

About

The fourth episode of The Kit Curran Radio Show, ‘P is for Positive’, aired on the 30th of April 1984 on ITV. Produced by Thames Television and written by Andy Hamilton, it stars Denis Lawson as ‘Kit Curran’, Clive Merrison as ‘Damien Appleby’, Paul Brooke as ‘Les Toms’ and Brian Wilde as ‘Roland Simpson’. Additional guest stars this episode include Debbi Blythe as ‘Sally Beamish’ and Joseph Marcell as ‘Constantine’.

Availability: Out on Region 2 DVD as of 2018. Be aware that the iTunes version is actually Series 2 mislabelled as Series 1. The watch quality of the DVD is better than these screencaps suggest—it’s certainly an improvement over the VHS rips of re-runs that were circling before it was released—but you can tell the footage hasn’t been best preserved.

P is for Positive

We kick off this week with our usual caller complaint. George is unsatisfied: his wife says he’s useless and boring in bed. He thinks this is a problem with her. (It is, let’s be honest, almost certainly his issue. His wife is right. She should find herself a new husband.) This frames this week’s theme: self-improvement. Kit is busy running exercise classes. He might not be big on participating, favouring lolly-gagging about with his feet on the desk, but Roland is following the programme devoutly. According to Roland’s secretary, the classes are very popular! This has perhaps less to do with the classes being any good, and more about Kit having a lovely voice. (I’d listen to Denis Lawson read the phonebook quite happily, so I get where they’re coming from.)

The women of Newtown are writing in, expecting Kit to have the solution to their problems. They should probably look elsewhere, given that I think Kit is more likely to be the cause of problems rather than the solution. Kit’s summary of the problem is that no one is happy with what they’ve got. Apparently all the women want Jane Fonda’s bits … which, look, I’m not gonna lie, but we are thirty-five years on from that line being written and it is still relevant. Jane Fonda still looks gorgeous. So Kit may be onto something. Kit asks Les if he is happy with the way he looks—clearly expecting a not entire positive answer, given Les’s size. Les doesn’t rise to the bait: he’s cuddly. (there is something to be said about a good amount of squish, and it’s not of your business Kit.)

Given that the Radio classes are going so well, Kit goes to Roland to propose the ‘Radio Newtown Mind and Body Workshop’, to take place in person. Roland’s suspicions are immediately piqued by the lack of Kit’s usual eponymous naming strategy. Fees for the workshop, will, of course, go to Radio Newtown, minus Kit’s expenses. Kit’s expenses being legendary, and once included the bill for a night in a hotel room with a local beauty pageant winner for some rather spurious reasons. There’s also some concern about Kit’s ability to conduct psychotherapy sessions, which leads to Kit launching into some highly amusing and interesting summaries of various psychotherapy practises.

Kit gets the go ahead. Because Kit never overlooks a chance to make more money, and get in a bit of self-promotion, he’s selling branded exercise gear. He’s even got his own branded onesie, this bright pink creation with ‘Kit Curran is King’ on the back. Just. Thank you wardrobe for this. It’s bonkers but I love it.

Various staff members are in attendance, as well as the general public. Les and Damien are joined by Sally and Constantine, just to make things really interesting. Kit starts the session by trying to get to know everyone a little better, starting with Dave, a tax collector. Dave feels like everyone secretly hates him because he’s a tax collector. ‘Of course everyone hate you, you’re a tax collector,’ Damien retorts.

Sally thinks that her problem is that she’s too nice. I think the entire point of this is for Lawson to get up in her face—just look how close he gets! If you’ve watched a lot of his stuff, you’ll know that this is something he does. His ability to get in his co-stars faces unflinchingly is, well, probably unparallelled.

Also, dear lord. ‘Kiteramics’. There’s Kit’s ego back. There are even video workouts. We get to see one! They made one! (@ whoever is responsible for Thames Television’s archive, please let me know if the original footage for the video exists, I need it.)

Kit’s exercise / psychotherapy does seem to have enacted radical changes amongst the staff. Hence this grin. Constantine—who as you may remember from episode two, has previously had a rather lax security policy—is suddenly demanding passes and frisking everyone who walks in the building. Damien is smiling. Sally is pissed. Les has taken up jogging. It’s all very weird. There’s even a moment where Kit asks for money, as he does all the time, but when Damien willingly offers it up, he can’t take it!

Unfortunately, everyone’s turns in behaviour start to lead to very undesired results. Constantine’s new tenacity combined with Sally’s assertiveness leads to a forceful confrontation. Les’s exercising leads to torn ligaments. Damien’s wallet gets nicked. All of them decide that they were just fine the way they were, and therefore: they want a refund. Kit, being in no place to provide refunds, doesn’t take this well. And being a coward, when they confront him, he vaults off a table and crawls away after distracting them. They’ll have to get him next time.

Verdict

The premise for this episode is solid, and it’s a good excuse to learn a little more about all the other characters at Radio Newtown. Whilst Kit is still very much the lead, everyone else gets a fair whack in this episode; Damien especially. Sally is back, which is delightful, and we see the return of Constantine and the follow through on episode two’s plot about his security of the station. His vigorous search of Roland in this episode, whilst related, really only works if you remember that Roland criticised his lax security policies before. Given that this series isn’t exactly big on internal continuity (events in one episode are rarely referenced in others), it’s a little odd to get the call back.

Wardrobe is on top form this episode. There’s no way that the leopard-print vest should work with that shirt, but somehow Lawson manages to pull off that look. The pink jumpsuit is incredible, as is everyone else’s exercise wear, a full riot of colour interspersed with Kit’s branded neon-pink gear. And I love Sally’s punk-inspired outfit in the last scene, with her battered leather jacket. Sally always comes through with good looks. And that’s a good one.

Okay. Let’s talk about the elephant in the room. If you’ve actually seen the episode, you’ll have witnessed the Hitler impression, along with a joke about invading Poland. I’m not going to dignify it by providing screencaps, but it’s bad. I hate it. It’s not even funny! I don’t think it was funny back in 1984, but the Nazis probably felt like less of an imminent threat back then—the National Front was splintering in the UK, and there were other things to worry about, like the threat of nuclear annihilation. It is still not good, it adds nothing of value, I’m still unclear about what the intentions even were with it. It makes me wince. It’s lazy. I wish it wasn’t in the episode. Do better, show.

The episode is also a fine example of Kit’s utter refusal to ever accept the consequences of his actions, as seen in the end of the episode, where he literally just runs away from the consequences. One day, Kit, you’re gonna have to face up to the face that your schemes never work. But it is not this day.

Next time

Next week, things get political as a by-election is called in Newtown. And Kit is desperate for a chance at fame. All that and more to follow in The Kit Curran Radio Show: Election Fever.