In the final episode of Kit Curran, Pamela finds herself in hospital. This sparks on terrible, terrible idea in Kit: he’s going to open a health clinic. Will this latest scheme finally see him get the comeuppance he deserves?

About

The sixth (and final!) episode of ‘Kit Curran’ aired on the 25th of August 1986 on Channel Four. It is the second series of ‘The Kit Curran Radio Show’, with a different name, one significant cast change, and a modified set up. Produced by Thames Television and created by Andy Hamilton, the second series sees Guy Jenkin join the writing team. This episode stars Denis Lawson as ‘Kit Curran’, Clive Merrison as ‘Damien Appleby’, Paul Brooke as ‘Les Toms’ and Lindsay Duncan as ‘Pamela Scott’.

Availability: Out on Region 2 DVD as of 2018. Also available on UK iTunes, but mislabelled as Series 1, in a confusing manner. The watch quality of the DVD is better than these screencaps suggest—it’s an improvement over the VHS rips of re-runs that were circling before it was released—but you can tell the footage hasn’t been best preserved.

Doctors Can Seriously Damage Your Health

It’s eleven o’clock, and that means it’s time for the news on Radio Kit. Damien delights in his usual criticism and expansion on the news, with a strongly worded rant about a spokesman for the nuclear energy industry.

When he’s done, Kit takes the microphone once again, to impart a special message for Pamela, who is ill in hospital. Kit then proceeds to drag his entire team to the hospital to visit Pam. And extremely patronising doctor comes round to visit. Damien rails against useless doctors, and Pam says he does have a point. There’s no wonder more people are going over to alternative medicine these days.

And that gives Kit an idea.

No sooner than he’s back in the office, he’s setting up an alternative health clinic.

“I don’t need a degree, I’ve got a white coat. People trust the white coat.”

Of course, Kit isn’t the only one in this ridiculous charade. He drags Damien and Les into it as well. Damien is now the psychotherapist. And Les? Les is the dietician. Meanwhile, Kit … Kit will be the sort of person who can cure anything. Admiration. Fame. All it takes is a bit of positive thinking!

Les thinks it will never work. No one will come.

But when Kit goes to open the door to his new cash cow, a crowd of people are already waiting outside. Maybe this time he’s onto a winner?

Kit’s ‘alternative’ treatments are … wild. People are bent into all sorts of strange positions, poked by needles, and positive mantras are all the rage. Remember P is for Positive? Kit’s approach to health hasn’t improved since.

A previous client comes to call. As he lists off the things Kit instructed him to do to cure his stomach ache, there’s an increasing sense that maybe, after only three days in business, Kit’s plan has been rumbled… but he feels great! He wants to thank Kit!

Kit and Les can’t believe it.

Back in hospital, Kit is describing his brilliant new business to Pam. Kit, however, has neglected to ask over Pam’s own health. Luckily, Pam is fine. It was just kidney stones. Pam’s doctor, however, is not impressed by Kit’s alternative medicine practices, especially when Kit starts offering advice to other clients at the hospital.

Kit’s broadcasting room might have been taken over by Les’s diet clinic, but that doesn’t stop him from broadcasting out Radio Kit to everyone who might care to listen. The broadcasting done for the day, he steps out with a spring in his step. Les has been adding up the profit they’ve made from this little venture—a whopping £1700. That Kit has, of course, already spent on a new flash car.

A new flash car bought, really, to impress Pam when Kit uses it to pick her up from hospital. To while away the time whilst waiting for Kit, Pam has been speaking to someone who attended his health clinic… and has had less than favourable reactions to the proscribed course of treatment.

Kit makes a run for it.

“Pamela, do I look like someone who does not know what they’re doing?”

Yes, Kit. Every single minute of every day.

Meanwhile, Damien and Les want a word with Kit. They’re not impressed with his spending habits. The flash car is an unnecessary purchase.

But Kit has bigger problems. He’s being sued, by his patients, for substantial damages. He’s got to go to court. Kit thinks there’s no way any judge is going to go for it.

Unfortunately, Kit’s luck has definitely run out. The judge is not impressed. Almost every client of Kit’s has a story about how terribly he’s treated them. Does Kit have anything to say in his defense? … No.

The company—owned by Kit, Les, and Damien—is fined £15000 and costs. Kit faints clean away. He wakes up, in hospital, having banged his head quite badly. As the four of them talk about what they’re going to do, they realise there is no way they’ll get the money to pay the fine.

Kit thinks that all they need is one more brilliant idea to put them back in the black. The others are not so convinced. Will they get Kit to stop… who knows.

Verdict

It’s the final episode of the series—the last we will ever see of Kit Curran—and Kit doesn’t disappoint in his final hour. This latest money making scheme is horrendous and hilarious in every way. Kit’s been preying on people’s insecurities and problems since day one. Remember than mindfulness and keep-fit sessions he was running back in the first series? Honestly, this is just an expansion of that. Only by prescribing actual remedies—fake or not—he opens himself to a world of trouble.

I doubt that the court case and the company fine stops Kit. He’s always going to be scheming in some way.

The wardrobe in this episode—despite possibly running out of budget as there’s a couple of return outfits—is as magnificent as ever. Kit’s pyjamas, when he’s in the hospital, deserve a special mention. The monstrosities are a riot of colour along with, of course, being monogrammed. Kit just has to have everyone know who he is. The green coat from the previous episode is back, which is marvellous as it’s an excellent coat and definitely deserves a second outing.

It’s actually very cute how there is some actual genuine friendship between Pamela and the three useless musketeers. Though visiting her in hospital is, obviously, Kit’s idea, the other two come along. They’re an unlikely group, but it works somehow. They’re so different they manage to balance each other out.

At one point in the episode, Kit just bursts out of the broadcasting room singing ‘I feel pretty’ and like, it really has no place in the plot. It’s just an excuse for Lawson to, once again, do his thing. But it’s so bafflingly out of place and Lawson throws himself into it with such aplomb you can’t help but laugh at it.

All in all? It’s a great episode to round off the show. Kit finally gets punished for at least some of his misdeeds, even if it isn’t likely to stop him for long.

As for Kit Curran as a whole—I find series two, generally, to be better than series one. A lot of that has to do with the presence of Lindsay Duncan, who (in my opinion) makes a much better ‘straight man’ and foil for Kit than Roland Simpson ever did. She also provides a much needed female presence on the show. And out of the constraints of what antics Kit could get up to whilst still, ostensibly, hosting a radio show, I think the characters really thrive. They’re all pushed further, and they’re funnier for it.

It, as I have remarked a few time, is shocking how much of the satire is still relevant. A lot of the jokes still work! Sure, there’s a couple of misfires along the way—the series is thirty-five years old and does show it in some parts!—but in general, it’s stood up to the test of time better than some other shows.

Recommended? Yes. It’s an easy, fun watch. It’ll make you laugh. You get to see a good range of Lawson’s other talents—his singing, the occasional bit of dance, and his excellent mimicry all make it worth watching. The wardrobe on the series is also well worth the price of admission.